Dude Tries To Bring His Own Burgers To a Vegan Dinner Party

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jun 24, 2023 8:00 PM EDT

Vegans can get a bad rep. They're stereotyped as pushy haters criticizing everyone who dares to eat chicken breast. In reality, most vegans are not jumping down everyone's throats. Their lifestyle is a lot more replicable than you'd think. I've been a meat eater my whole life, and even I could eat predominantly vegan and vegetarian when I had two vegetarian roommates. 

The following story is not one of the vicious vegetarian and the righteous meat eater but a more complex tale of miscommunication. A meat eater got invited to a dinner party at a vegan home. At the party, the hosts are only serving portobello steaks and no actual steaks. The meat eater is allergic to mushrooms, so he thought bringing his own meat to the BBQ would be a possible alternative to having a life-threatening allergic reaction. He asked Reddit what he should do, and the people of AITA's advice is surprisingly grounded. 

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  • 01
    Human body - r/AmltheAsshole u/Ok_Employee_5876 • 1d WIBTA If I brought my own food to a vegan dinner party?
    via u/Ok_Employee_5876
  • 02
    Font - So I've been invited to a vegan household for a dinner party. Of the total people going, 6 of 9 aren't vegans. Anytime a meal is hosted elsewhere we have two meals, one vegan and one not, so everyone can enjoy what they like. Not here though, this is a strictly vegan household. No cooking meat products on the BBQ. No cheese, no eggs, no fish.
    via u/Ok_Employee_5876
  • 03
    Font - I get not wanting to cook meat on their bbq, I have an entire section of my grill sectioned off for vegan/gluten free cooking. I found out what they are making for everyone one. I'm allergic to mushrooms, and they know it, and their main course is a portobello steak, it feels on purpose.
    via u/Ok_Employee_5876
  • 04
    Organism - I would feel disrespected as a host if a guest brought their own food to my dinner party, then again I try really hard to make sure everyone has options for them at mine. So WIBTA If I brought a George foreman and some burgers to cook up outside?
    via u/Ok_Employee_5876
  • 05
    Font - travelkmac • 1d Asshole Aficionado [14] YWBTA If you think they intentionally did this, don't go or call them out. Either way, I would call them and say you're allergic to mushrooms and you'll need an accommodation. Is there something else being made or can you bring your own vegan meal? Reply 11k
    via u/travelkmac
  • 06
    Handwriting - Independent Sea_836. 1d Apparently, this is his version of bringing his own vegan meal. The burgers are vegan. 41.9k 1.9k
    via u/Independent Sea_836
  • 07
    Rectangle - MyThreeBugs. 23h 1 Award Well, technically speaking, the burgers were vegan in a prior lifetime. ... 42.3k
    via u/MyThreeBugs
  • 08
    Font - MinniesWorld. 23h Nicely done 249 249
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  • 09
    Font - triplenjo 1d Le An accommodation seems like a bit much, but bringing a George foreman grill is too. We have a bunch of parties at our house and when there are allergies we try our best to avoid them, but can't promise. The guests with allergies also bring foods that they can eat. It's open communication. 309
    via u/triplenjo
  • 10
    Font - travelkmac • 1d Asshole Aficionado [14] As you said...communication is the key. I mentioned accommodation because if they are strict vegans they might not trust outside food in the home. They may also have plenty of sides that don't have mushrooms or even a second entree, we don't know. In this situation, I'd call, remind them of the allergy and discuss it. 4365
    via u/travelkmac
  • 11
    Font - Basic_Bichette. 19h Certified Proctologist [20] If OP has an allergy to the main course they literally can't eat anything cooked in that kitchen. I'd stay home and ask myself whether these people believe my allergy is fake, and are therefore not safe to know. Unfortunately allergy denial is wildly, wildly rampant among vegans, especially when the allergy is to one of their holy perfect foods - soya, mushroom, wheat. 4219
    via u/Basic_Bichette
  • 12
    Font - ravenoustemptress • 19h Where are you getting that? From my experience, vegans are more accommodating to allergies because they understand food restrictions and stressing about things being properly prepared. I feel like you made that up. 477
    via u/ravenoustemptress
  • 13
    Font - Prismatic_Leviathan. 13h It's definitely not every vegan, but it has happened to a friend of mine. His girlfriend's family is all vegan and he's a big meat eater. When he told them he was allergic to squash, one of their favorites, they just assumed he was making it up. One epipen later they learned he was not. 485 85
    via u/Prismatic_Leviathan
  • 14
    Font - Daikon-Apart • 19h Can't speak to the previous poster, but in my experience you get a pretty equal split between those that are extra accommodating and those that act put out by restrictions. For instance, my cousin insisted on washing his entire kitchen top to bottom before cooking for me even though I have IBS and not celiac, but his own parents still expect me to 'eat around' what I can't have even though the main dish is usually pasta or something soy-based. Thankfully, they don't car
    via u/Daikon-Apart
  • 15
    Font - Admirable-Anywhere10 22h I don't agree that an accommodation is too much. For my sons birthday I did pizza and soda with cupcakes. I invited an old friend who I don't see often and I messaged her privately to make sure her son didn't have any allergies or intolerances. I had never met the kid so I wanted to make sure he could have cheese/bread and soda. If she had of said he was lactose intolerant or had an allergy that prevented him from enjoying pizza with the rest of us I was fully wil
    via u/Admirable-Anywhere
  • 16
    Font - helpme_romantic • 23h Partassipant [1] I would feel disrespected as a host if a guest brought their own food to my dinner party, then again I try really hard to make sure everyone has options for them at mine. YWNBTA because you accommodate for them. If they cannot accommodate for you and especially for an allergy and not a choice they are not worthy of a friend like you. 228
    via u/helpme_romantic
  • 17
    Font - thiswillsoonendbadly. 22h Partassipant [3] Ok but there are like eight reasonable ways to approach this before we reach "bring my own appliance and cook meat inside their vegan home" levels. For example, OP could try communicating with their hosts regarding their allergy. Yes, they said the hosts "already know" but it actually turns out sometimes humans forget stuff. ... G 4218
    via u/thiswillsoonendbadly
  • 18
    Font - 5hells8ells • 22h Partassipant [1] They are vegans, they should be willing to accommodate a good allergy, but don't bring a knife to a foam party (eg bring meat to a vegan party), that's disrespectful. ... 105
    via u/5hells8ells
  • 19
    Font - Forward_Ring8888 - 1d Partassipant [1] OP already said they know about the allergy. G 97
    via u/Forward_Ring8888
  • 20
    Rectangle - FigNinja • 23h People do sometimes simply forget these things. 4358 ...
    via u/FigNinja
  • 21
    Font - AMedium SizedFridge • 23h "Don't attribute to malice what can be explained by stupidity" This phrase has really improved my relationships ... 4577
    via u/AMediumSizedFridge
  • 22
    Font - Tall-Measurement3795. 1d YWBTA. Talk with them before hand about your allergy and see if something can be done. If not, whenever I have to go to my wife's friend's and I know I'm not going to like the offering I pickup fast food on the way and eat in the car before we get there. Then i just drink what drink I want and snack on things I like. ... Reply 3.8k
    via u/Tall-Measurement3795
  • 23
    Rectangle - Ok_Employee_5876 OP. 1d I think this will be the route I go. It seems pretty divided so far, I'll wait for judgement though. 4 1.8k
    via u/Ok_Employee_5876
  • 24
    Font - Working-Trouble4622. 1d Im going against the grain to say NTA. They cannot expect you to respect their food choices if they ignore your food allergies. Personally Id sit at the table and whinge like shit at how inconsiderate they are. Then Id tell them not to worry, its ok that they arent good cooks or hosts. Then order a huge fucking takeaway. But Im an arsehole. G 830
    via u/Working-Trouble4622

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